Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
