I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
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