wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
