This phone does not accept mass texts. Try again.
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
That reminds me...we need to get swords
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
