Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
The air was thick with penises
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Randomize
