Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Drake has all the answers
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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