Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
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