That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
