I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
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