I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
