Texts From Last Night

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  (514): View more from Quebec

  I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.

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  (514): I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later. http://tfl.nu/cmn8
  Replies (6) Good night (2797) Bad night (843)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.

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  (513): Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box. http://tfl.nu/uquv
  Replies (7) Good night (3419) Bad night (725)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?

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  (314): My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF? http://tfl.nu/cban
  Replies (21) Good night (1907) Bad night (5910)
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  (573): View more from Missouri

  i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out

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  (573): i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out http://tfl.nu/mqff
  Replies (16) Good night (1995) Bad night (5986)
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  (208): View more from Idaho

  I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.

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  (208): I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age. http://tfl.nu/hp0x
  Replies (28) Good night (5969) Bad night (1100)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously

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  (314): great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously http://tfl.nu/gl7l
  Replies (10) Good night (849) Bad night (2438)
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  (417): View more from Missouri

  how was ur day?

  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.

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  (417): how was ur day? (405): this is strictly sexting don't make small talk. http://tfl.nu/95h7
  Replies (13) Good night (6650) Bad night (1433)
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  (281): View more from Texas

  Dinner?

  (713): View more from Texas

  YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!

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  (281): Dinner? (713): YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!! http://tfl.nu/zi0g
  Replies (2) Good night (1657) Bad night (626)
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  (240): View more from Maryland

  okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.

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  (240): okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party. http://tfl.nu/08ru
  Replies (5) Good night (1365) Bad night (660)
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  (208): View more from Idaho

  Is it possibile to sprain your taint?

  (1-208): View more from Idaho

  She was that bad?

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  (208): Is it possibile to sprain your taint? (1-208): She was that bad? http://tfl.nu/0me7
  Replies (5) Good night (519) Bad night (1144)
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  (27): View more from South Africa

  You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.

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  (27): You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in. http://tfl.nu/09ev
  Replies (5) Good night (819) Bad night (315)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?

  (1-503): View more from Oregon

  Locking that text forever.

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  (503): I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt? (1-503): Locking that text forever. http://tfl.nu/8ooh
  Replies (0) Good night (962) Bad night (499)
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  (716): View more from New York

  tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"

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  (716): tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered" http://tfl.nu/w7hl
  Replies (0) Good night (603) Bad night (358)
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.

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  (541): my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it. http://tfl.nu/nrbk
  Replies (6) Good night (215) Bad night (352)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.

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  (630): What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research. http://tfl.nu/y3b0
  Replies (3) Good night (325) Bad night (164)

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