Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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