Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
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we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
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He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Blood and glitter go together right?
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.