thus making me awesome and them whores
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I fill condoms, not promises.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea