tell your sister to shave her snatch
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS