Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(248): View more from Michigan

Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.

(248): View more from Michigan

I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it

(734): View more from Michigan

Yeah...you probably will...

(248): View more from Michigan

well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.

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(248): Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me. (248): I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it (734): Yeah...you probably will... (248): well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year. http://tfl.nu/3k5k

Replies (4) Good night (729) Bad night (1135)
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(502): View more from Kentucky

It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?

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(502): It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it? http://tfl.nu/bh2w

Replies (13) Good night (468) Bad night (4202) Order T-Shirt
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(515): View more from Iowa

Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.

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(515): Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn. http://tfl.nu/kzr9

Replies (28) Good night (807) Bad night (5260) Order T-Shirt
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(732): View more from New Jersey

I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask

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(732): I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask http://tfl.nu/8bk4

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(810): View more from Michigan

Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.

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(810): Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game. http://tfl.nu/d2ha

Replies (20) Good night (513) Bad night (3987) Order T-Shirt
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(808): View more from Hawaii

I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself

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(808): I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself http://tfl.nu/wwe7

Replies (12) Good night (955) Bad night (3092) Order T-Shirt
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(831): View more from California

I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.

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(831): I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella. http://tfl.nu/sl5d

Replies (41) Good night (4307) Bad night (2440) Order T-Shirt
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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.

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(570): I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned. http://tfl.nu/iuhj

Replies (20) Good night (1034) Bad night (3125) Order T-Shirt
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(894): View more from

just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit

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(894): just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit http://tfl.nu/2422

Replies (16) Good night (7045) Bad night (701) Order T-Shirt
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(330): View more from Ohio

Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.

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(330): Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge. http://tfl.nu/j5wy

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(281): View more from Texas

I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on

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(281): I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on http://tfl.nu/3rfp

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(+84): View more from

he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.

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(+84): he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man. http://tfl.nu/6dx4

Replies (3) Good night (1685) Bad night (488) Order T-Shirt
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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.

(1-717): View more from Pennsylvania

Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.

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(717): Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error. (1-717): Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening. http://tfl.nu/753x

Replies (8) Good night (2248) Bad night (452)
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(647): View more from Ontario

I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life

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(647): I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life http://tfl.nu/d1p7

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(240): View more from Maryland

She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths

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(240): She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths http://tfl.nu/lqw0

Replies (2) Good night (645) Bad night (132) Order T-Shirt

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