You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess