Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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