btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
