she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I still have a little drunk in my system
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
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