lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
