I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
