i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
COCAINE IS GR8
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
