I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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