hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Randomize
