none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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