I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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