insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
I had to cum in my sink.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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