Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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