A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
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