I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
I just found a bag of teeth...
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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