Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
