Pregnant stripper...not hot.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
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You know, be my cock's hype man.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
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