A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
i wish my penis had a tongue
He had one of those small greek statue penises
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
