): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
