I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
