I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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