I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
