I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
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