i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
