yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Randomize