There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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