Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
