My liver just broke up with me...
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
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