I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
