I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
how do flat chested girls get laid?
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
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