Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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