just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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