I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Someone shattered a urinal.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
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