i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
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You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
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The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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