so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize
