OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
