I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
i would punch a child for taco bell
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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