We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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