Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Randomize
