Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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