I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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