I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
i now understand why vodka
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
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