Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
