My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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