If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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