I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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