is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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