you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
