just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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