I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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