Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
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