Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Randomize
