I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Randomize