Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
Life is so much better after having sex.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
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