Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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