Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
